Have you ever woken up with a toothache? Good, that means you have never had a real toothache. When you have a toothache, you cannot sleep ergo, you cannot wake up. It always starts with a gnawing itch somewhere on the surface of your tooth; you feel like you can soothe it with the tip of your tongue and you might even try. Then it starts to heat up, literary you feel as if the temperature in your tooth is increasing and you naively gurgle a glass of cold water. At this point, you start to feel as if the heater on your tooth has been switched to turbo heating. You can feel the pain shooting down from the cavity to the root of your tooth like a poison-tipped arrow. Down there it starts rotating so fast you think your tooth is vibrating from the bottom. You have a pulse now, on your tooth, and you can visualize the stars of pain sparking off from your jaw. At this point, you try to sit still and wait it out. Somehow, you end up gnashing your teeth, wringing your hands and even scratching your feet with each other. Normally, you imagine pain as something that starts low and then climbs to a climax leaving you panting then goes down and starts again. A toothache is the exact same thing. Except without the going down part. It starts slow, works itself up into an orgasm of pain and stays like that. It does not go down a single inch. It's only 9 pm and you haven’t had supper, trying to put food in your mouth is out of question and like the fool you are, you brush your teeth to go to bed(This is the equivalent of pouring hot tar into an open wound). In bed you assume the fetal position with you left hand lightly on the aching tooth, you pray for sleep harder than you prayed not to get and E in KCSE math’s. Your prayers have little impact and you cannot sleep. You count sheep up to 600 and you realize that is a con. You can feel your tooth palpitating and you struggle to remain in bed. Your feet are tightly wound together as you massage them with each other. Nothing is working.
You have taken three Mara Mojas and by now, you have realized they are as useful for a toothache as a razor blade for an amputation. You tell yourself if you lay, still you will fall asleep. Your attempt the herculean task of not moving and succeed for 4 seconds. Your feet jerk around and you want to cry in pain. You wake up and wish it as morning. It's only 9 17 PM. You get up and go to the mirror; you open up and look at the offending tooth. Looks just the way it did yesterday and your cannot believe it is the source of the cruel pulse throbbing in your jaw. You go back to bed, you almost fall asleep but then you realize the one tooth is not alone anymore. Your whole left lower jaw is on fire. Its like the orgasm of pain has been multiplied by 8. You have tossed in bed 48 times. You look at the clock on your phone and it is nine. 23 PM. You call your friend who is a clinical officer and ask him if there are hospitals with dental units operating at night. He is in a bar and he cannot hear you. You go to the kitchen and discover two cans of beer. You are down them in a flash and sit still expecting the drowsiness that hits you whenever you drink too fast. With luck, you might even pass out. Today, nothing, you cannot feel anything and in fact the painkillers got you higher than the beers. In addition, its cold and once again your teeth are on fire. It is now 10 30 and you are looking for a pair of pliers. (This takes place between 6 pm and 6AM last night)
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