Am at Sherlock’s Bistro Nanyuki. For those too lazy and pass
or even go in without reading the name, it’s that bar above Nakumatt. You know
the one next to Faulu bank? you should visit the place by the way. For
all intents and purposes a British invasion is underway and although the land
is not in danger today, (that was taken care of in the 50’s) the girls and
booze are clearly heading for the hills. The tables are strewn with toned tanned
boy/men presumably from the British army base. It could be the Swiss-guard
disguised as such carrying out a reconnaissance just in case the pope decides
he wants to visit Nanyuki on his maiden Kenyan tour (Something sounds wrong in
there). I really can’t confirm.
In place of the
regular patrons are some of the most beautiful girls south of the Sahara. They
are smiling and holding animated discussions in what would pass as queen’s
English if the queen was a hard drinking Kenyan politician with a heavy Meru
accent. The guys don’t seem worried about semantics though, if their reputation
of Nanyuki is anything to go by, their intentions are not that shallow. In fact
they run pretty deep. The ladies are almost all light skinned with lipstick red
enough to invoke Okot P Bitek’s song of Lawino. “… a cat that had dipped its lips
in fresh blood”. He may have been referring to a different type of cat
altogether but as far as this place is concerned he was bull’s eye on the
money. There are cats (a cat by any other name….) and there will be blood.
Mostly metaphorical though. The
soldiers are sitted in groups of 4s to 7-ish. Only two of them are black and
they are sitting at the same table with a … token white pal? I really don’t
know how this works. Tusker is the drink of choice, unless you are a girl in
which case you are drinking red sweet wine and green bottles for the
daredevils.
I on the other hand have yet to be served since I started
writing this, which is ok since I sometimes just come and use the wifi and
leave. However if someone does not give me the wifi password I may end up
writing a terrible review which would be a shame since this is the best lounge
bar in Nanyuki. Ah here comes the
female waiter (Waitress is just as insensitive just say waiter for chips
sakes), “its ok I haven’t been here long” …yes the usual…very cold”. Damn its
Monday!
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